I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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