Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
