my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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