i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
