So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
