apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize