She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
