Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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