I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
