If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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