i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
