lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
