i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
