just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
