did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
