Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You are a genius and a whore.
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