I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
