Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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