i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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