remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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