Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
