8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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