We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
