i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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