Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
