i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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