U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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