Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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