I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
