The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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