Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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