i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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