You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize