Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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