god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
