I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We are two peas in an std pod
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
