I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
