is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
