she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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