We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
