I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
