You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
