Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
