I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
