i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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