my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I want a musical about memes.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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