I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
