So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
