worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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