I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
