I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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