a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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