that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
