this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize