I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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