Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
