What a fucking waste of an outfit
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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